This is one of the most important books I have ever read. Written by a social worker/counselor and a pastor/clinical psychologist, it frames a way of living that eludes many people, Christians included.
It begins by defining "assertiveness," a concept that is often misunderstood. Ruth Koch and Ken Haugk make the compelling claim that "assertive behavior is an integral and essential part of the Christian lifestyle...that reflects concern about being honest, direct, open, and natural in relations with others." They continue to posit that assertiveness helps a person get along with others, with yourself, and with God.
This is far more than self-help draped in Christian language, however. The authors successfully identify Jesus as someone who lived and taught assertively, ultimately saying that "even at the point of giving his life, Jesus made it clear that he was not a helpless, passive victim, a person buffeted by the evil, unfairness, and cruelties of life. Jesus was instead the obedient, willing servant of God, fully active in God's plan of salvation."
The last third of the book walks the reader through a number of practical examples of assertive choices, including handling requests, offering and receiving criticism, and expressing and receiving anger.
The impact that this book has had on me, personally and vocationally, is hard to estimate. Taking its message to heart has enabled me to set appropriate boundaries, especially regarding my use of time; it has emboldened me to speak my mind as a leader; and it has improved my communication within my family and network of friends and acquaitances.
I would recommend this book to anyone seeking greater sense of wholeness in life. As Koch and Haugk write, "By behaving assertively, people begin to see themselves, as well as others, as individuals who are important and who have feelings, ideas, opinions, and rights that are worthy of expression." It is a very healthy way to live.
Sounds intriguing. Will have to give it a read. Thanks!
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